jai une américaine stupide

Today I went for a walk to the closest town, Chatou, and wandered around, trying to blend in and also take photos. I stopped at the supermarchet to get a baguette, orangina (sans high fructose corn syrup) et du eau, et my first transaction was fine, until i went to the boulangarie a achete la baguette, because the clerk said something to me that i totally didn't understand and i tried to cover it up by saying "je voudrais une baguette, s'il vous plait" at which time everyone in the area started at me like i was a total idiot. I wanted to sink into the floor but had no choice but to stand there, smiling stupidly, trying to figure out what the hell i had missed. I think he probably said something like, "I'll be right with you" so it was totally a faux pas. It made me think about how my personality is so different here, because I also speak very quietly to disguise the fact that my accent sucks and i don't really know what i'm saying. Also i think that often in situations when i would say something, I just don't because I'm not sure how to say the right thing, so I probably come off as just plain rude. I've also noticed that my english has started to suck, that I always write the wrong word when I try to type and also that I have no word retrieval whatsoever when i'm speaking. I was trying to remember the word "triage" to use in an english sentence and I couldn't for the life of me come up with it. Then once I did, I was very amused that it was a french word. I have to say that in a way this immersion thing is really awesome because it is forcing me to think and speak in french in ways that I just never have to at home. But I also think i'm going through some kind of weird silent period/weird mixed up language period that I hope I'm able to pull through before I actually leave here because then what good is any of it.

Tomorrow, dinner in Le Marais avec mon ami Chloé, a very trendy neighborhood, so i hear. More to report de main, je suis certain.

avec amour,
Mona